use real butter

Funny how just a few weeks ago some of my bloggy buds were all, “Dooode, you are blogging daily and I can’t keep up witchyoo, yo!” And I’m all like, “Laydeeeez, I’m on another steroid dose for my side-effects and I can’t sleep, so I just keep a bloggin’!” Okay, well that ended abruptly this past weekend because I replaced blogging with doing everything else. Seriously though, we were just entertaining my ILs this weekend. Still, I’m breaking it down into a few posts since they involve… FOOD!

Last year, Jeremy’s folks were out to visit us about a week before I got my diagnosis. It was also the weekend of MIL’s bday. I asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday and she replied she’d like to bake a cake with me! MIL likes to bake and I had just completed a pastry skills course that summer at the culinary school (my reward for defending my PhD dissertation), so she wanted to try one of the recipes I had learned. We made a lovely Lemon Mousseline Torte. Thing is… FIL is a chocolate fiend. Not just that he likes chocolate, but he won’t touch anything else if there *isn’t* chocolate in it. Okay, that isn’t entirely true. If it is a hunk of meat… perhaps FIL should meet Mr. SGCC - aka Caveman, Susan? :)

let’s start with some chocolate cookie crumbs

press a nice chocolate cookie base

On this visit, MIL mentioned that she’d like to bake together again. Sounded great except it’s been hot here lately. Oven, heat, summer - gah! While I flipped through the course notebook, I came upon the “frozen desserts” segment of the class. Ah ha! I really wanted to make some bombes, but the professional grade molds I need (yes, I *need* them, damn it!) wouldn’t ship in time for us to use. I had a good alternative though, and it wouldn’t require much oven time at all.

chopped chocolate stirred into the custard

The recipe in class was a white chocolate espresso semifreddo, but I altered it to a chocolate espresso semifreddo because 1) I hate white chocolate and 2) FIL eats chocolate chocolate, not that white crap. On Sunday morning, I left the house really early to hike out to a point for shooting (nature… with a camera). A little later, Jeremy took his folks on a short hike while I returned home and began the mise en place for the semifreddo.

mascarpone and cream lend to a lovely texture

I think in the course of my food blogging, I have settled into a pattern of how I cook or bake. That is to say, I actually prepare food with the photography in mind, with the photography planned into the steps as if it were part of the recipe. Second nature, by now. It becomes painfully obvious how not normal that is when I prepare food with other people because they aren’t used to it. Funny that. I felt so bad asking MIL to not add the chocolate yet, to please hold the spatula still for a second, to wait until I could angle the reflector… MIL is an incredibly good sport about it. When I tried this with my grandmother last fall, she gave me these hilarious frowns that read, “Crazy American-born Chinese Granddaughter!”

combine chocolate and mascarpone

The dessert has three main components that wind up as one semifreddo. That’s weird for me. If I make three separate components, I usually expect to see those components in the final product (like cake, ganache, mousse, for instance). I altered the recipe somewhat because I think making Italian meringue is messy and a pain in the butt compared to Swiss meringue. I swapped out the white chocolate for semi-sweet chocolate (Valrhona 64%), replaced the Italian meringue with the Swiss meringue, and used instant espresso powder instead of brewing my own espresso.

folding meringue into the chocolate and mascarpone mixture

The semifreddo presents well. The texture is smooth and rich, but refreshingly cool which I find perfect for summer months. There is a tanginess to the flavor imparted by the mascarpone, but it isn’t as overt as what cream cheese would have contributed. Everyone who has a slice seems to love it. I could go either way. I find that the recipe is more effort than one would expect for such a simple looking dessert. Still, it’s a winner and my ILs really enjoyed it.

let thaw for ten minutes before serving

Chocolate Espresso Semifreddo

1 3/4 cups chocolate cookie crumbs
3 tbsp unsalted butter, melted

3 oz espresso
4 large eggs separated
1/3 cup sugar
2 tbsp sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp dark rum
4 oz semi-sweet chocolate, chopped fine
16 oz mascarpone cheese
2 oz heavy cream

Heat oven to 350°F. Lightly butter bottom of a 9-inch springform pan. Mix cookie crumbs and butter together. Press crust into the springform pan and bake for 10 minutes. Remove from oven (turn oven off). When cool, line the sides of the pan with a 3-inch wide parchment strip along the inside edge.

Over a double boiler, whisk together the yolks and 2 tablespoons of th sugar until it is pale yellow and thick. It should ribbon. Lift whisk out of the bowl to incorporate air into the mixture. Add espresso, rum, and vanilla. Place over simmering water and cook, vigorously whisking until liquid coats the back of a spoon and the mixture is thick and foamy. Remove from heat and add the finely chopped chocolate. Stir until melted and continue stirring until cooled. In separate bowl, stir together the mascarpone and cream until soft and smooth. Do not overstir. Place egg whites and 1/3 cup sugar in kitchenaid mixing bowl. Gently whisk together over a simmering water bath until 145°F is reached. Remove from bath and set the bowl on the kitchenaid with the balloon whip attachment. Whip on medium high until stiff peaks form. Reduce speed to medium and mix until the bowl is cool to the touch (cooler than your hand). Fold the mascarpone mixture into the chocolate mixture until there are no streaks left. Fold 1/4 of the meringue (sacrifice) into the chocolate-mascarpone mixture. Fold in the remaining meringue in three parts - don’t overmix or the volume will reduce!

Spread the mixture over the baked crust in the pan. Tightly cover with plastic wrap and freeze for at least 4 hours. When ready to serve, loosen and remove the sides of the pan. Remove the parchment paper strip. Serve cold and cut slices with a warm, dry knife.

Boy, I have been posting a lot of sweets lately. I try to mix things up, but I wanted to get this cake recipe up because it’s so pretty and a great dessert to serve for a holiday weekend. Tomorrow is the fourth of July - the quintessential summer holiday here in the States. My favorite part? The fireworks. I am a visual creature and nothing dazzles me like pretty colors and bright lights. I am drawn to lovely sparklies like Lite Brite (remember that toy?) and gummy bears and shooting stars and… fireworks! Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

a mountain of dry ingredients

batter in the pan

But on to this cake. I served it at the tele betties barbecue last weekend. It’s my riff on Marcel Desaulniers’ White and Dark Chocolate Pistachio Cake from his famed Death by Chocolate. I have a signed copy only because my parents live near Trellis Restaurant where he is chef and co-owner. Mom gave it to me years ago, when I was too timid to even crack the book open - it was so intimidating then! My baking prowess has since been found and nurtured. In graduate school I even exchanged a few emails with Marcel on the doubling of his recipes. He’s such a great guy - so friendly and approachable.

skinning pistachios

whipping swiss meringue

I omitted the white chocolate from the buttercream frosting because I think it is too sweet and I just hate white chocolate in general. No one seemed to miss it. I also doubled his chocolate cake recipe so I could make a 4-layer deal instead of his prescribed 3-layers. And besides, I wouldn’t be able to eek out 3 decent layers from a single cake because our oven is crooked and the dome is always lopsided. I should level the oven, but I’m a bum and there wouldn’t be an overabundance of cake trimmings for Jeremy to snack on! Skinning the pistachios is the biggest pain in the ass. The only reason I do it is because I love pistachios so much… and because I forget what a pain it is until I start skinning them.

folding chopped pistachios into the buttercream

spreading the pistachio buttercream on the first layer

I debated adding a soaking syrup because I wasn’t sure if this cake would crumble apart if it got wet. I decided against it. Turns out if you serve the cake within 24 hours, it’s pretty moist without soaking syrup and is delightfully dense. If you have leftovers, they tend to dry out with time, so I recommend immediate consumption.

crumb coating

decorate as you see fit

I was planning to pipe some cute little standard stars around the edge, dotting them with pistachios, but I was too impatient for my ganache to set up because I had a gazilion other things to make for the party. So I drizzled rings all over and sprinkled the top with extra chopped pistachios and a flurry of whole ones in the center. Good enough for government work.

love the light and dark motif

The cake was a huge hit with our guests. I like the solid construction of this dessert as I don’t have to worry about it falling to pieces when I serve a slice. I also think the dark and light contrasts are striking and beautiful together, not to mention the awesome pairing of flavors: pistachio, vanilla, and chocolate. The dense chocolate layers play wonderfully with the creamy and light (ha! a POUND of butter?!) frosting and the nuts add a bit of crunchy texture. The chocolate cake is not overly sweet, which I love because buttercream is plenty sweet as it is. However, I enjoyed the little zing of rich and sweet that the ganache lends to the whole ensemble. All in all a great cake. Wow your friends and see your enemies driven before you.

now that’s real love, folks

Chocolate Pistachio Cake
modified from Death by Chocolate by Marcel Desaulniers

joe’s chocolate cake
makes ONE 9×3-inch round cake - I used TWO of these for my version, so double this recipe if you want a 4-layer cake

1 1/2 cups plus 1 tbsp all-purpose flour
6 tbsps unsweetened cocoa
1 tsp baking soda (1/4 tsp at 8500 ft.)
1 tsp salt
4 oz butter plus extra for coating the pan
2 oz unsweetened chocolate, broken into 1/2 oz pieces
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp red raspberry vinegar
1 cup water

[Note: I made TWO chocolate cakes to give me 4 layers instead of the three in Marcel’s original recipe. This results in plenty of leftover “dome”.] Preheat oven to 325°F. Combine flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt in a sifter. Sift onto wax paper or a bowl and set aside. Coat 2 9×3-inch round pans with butter on the base and sides. Place circular parchment in the bottom and brush with more butter. Marcel says to dust with flour, which I apparently overlooked. I didn’t have any problems, but my pans are also non-stick. Gently melt unsweetened chocolate over water bath or on half power in the microwave - stirring to prevent burning. Set aside. Beat sugar and butter together in mixer fitted with paddle. Beat on medium for 1 minute, then on high for 1 minute. Scrape down the sides and beat on high for 15 seconds after the addition of each egg (one at a time). Scrape down the bowl after each addition. Add vanilla and vinegar and beat on high for 20 seconds. Add the melted chocolate and mix on low for 10 seconds. Scrape down the sides of the bowl. Boil water and operate the mixer on low while adding the sifted dry ingredients. Mix for 10 seconds. Add the boiling water (carefully!!) and continue to mix on low for 10 seconds. Increase speed to medium and beat for 5 seconds. Pour batter into pans. Bake for about 45-50 minutes or until toothpick test is clean. Remove from oven and allow cakes to cool in pans for 20 minutes. Remove the cakes from the pans and refrigerate for at least 1 hour.

pistachio and vanilla buttercreams
this amount was just enough for the 4-layer cake

8 oz egg whites
16 oz sugar
1 lb butter, room temperature
2 tsp vanilla extract
1.5 cups shelled pistachios

Combine egg whites and sugar in a mixing bowl. Whisk constantly over a bain marie until 140F is reached. Place on mixer with balloon whisk and whip until stiff. Turn down whip speed to 3rd and whip until cool to the touch (this takes a while - should be cooler than your hand). Change to a paddle and gradually add soft butter by tablespoon pieces. Mix to emulsify. Once desired consistency has been reached, add vanilla. Blanche the pistachios in boiling water for 3 minutes, then drain and place the nuts in a cotton towel. Fold the towel over the nuts and rub vigorously to loosen and remove the skins. Toast the skinned pistachios on a baking sheet for 15 minutes at 325°F. Remove from oven and allow to cool to room temperature. Reserve a few whole ones for garnish. Finely chop the remaining pistachios. Take 2/3 of the buttercream frosting and fold in the pistachios. Save the remaining third of the buttercream for frosting the cake.

ganache
6 tbsps heavy cream
4 oz semi-sweet chocolate, chopped

Bring the cream to a boil and remove from heat immediately. Pour over the chocolate (making sure to cover all of the chocolate) and let sit for a minute. Stir until the ganache is smooth and evenly mixed. Put in the refrigerator until firm enough for piping.

Assembly: Cut off the dome tops of the cakes. Slice your cakes into two layers. Place the base of one cake on the serving plate or a cake board. Spread 1/3 of the pistachio buttercream over the layer. Repeat twice more. Top the cake with the other base slice (upside down, so base it facing up). Crumb coat the sides with the vanilla buttercream (a thin layer spread around the entire cake). Then frost the entire cake with the rest of the vanilla buttercream. Decorate the cake with chocolate ganache however you like and garnish with whole pistachios and/or any extra chopped pistachios. Serve at room temperature.

a slice of lemon mirror cake: my click entry

I thought that when my chemo was over, I would resume my life more or less the way I was before chemo. I will be the first to point out that how I feel now is a million times better than how I felt during chemo - so this is a good thing. While my ideas and enthusiasm are nearly on par with what they are normally, the reality is that my carcass is still playing catch up for a variety of reasons (complications, unexpected lingering side-effects, etc.). Add to that the daily radiation treatments that cut right into the middle of the day and I find I am not getting to all of the items on my ginormous to-do list.

let’s make some lemon mousse

It’s okay. I have learned to accept these setbacks and make the best of it. The tagline on my personal blog reads “things don’t always go as planned” which is funny, because I coined that one before I was diagnosed. But it’s a good concept to keep in mind and I feel that it keeps me on my toes, keeps me from feeling “entitled” and allows me to maneuver through life with greater flexibility… greater happiness.

brushing soaking syrup onto the chiffon cake

I still have trouble in the kitchen because my left arm and left hand are experiencing problems including pain, numbness, and weakness. While I’m right-handed, any avid cook knows that you use BOTH hands when cooking or baking. But some things can’t wait and I feel happier overall when I can get into the kitchen and create something.

layering the mousse

After I had contacted Bee about contributing a prize for Bri’s fundraiser, she encouraged me to enter the CLICK photo competition for June. The theme: yellow. Ah yes, that damn cancer thing. Pink for breast cancer (I hate pink) and yellow for cancer (I don’t love yellow but I do hate cancer). It’s not that I wanted to enter the contest so much as I wanted to show my support for Bri. If you think you’re tired of hearing and reading about cancer, try having cancer… that gets old pretty fast.

pouring the mirror

What I realized while I made the cake was that it was very much like my own experience with cancer. I usually have a grand plan in my head for pastries I want to make. I think about it for as little as a few minutes to as much as a couple of weeks - planning flavors, textures, components, shape, presentation. I have *expectations* and then I play it out. I used to execute most of my baking plans with good effort and great success. But this time things were slower. Folding whipped cream into lemon curd hurt my hand. Washing dishes that I needed burned my tender skin. My strength and balance were a little off so that I bumped the mold against the wall of the fridge, spilling liquid gelatin over the top. All of that control I had commanded before… lost for now. It no longer became a matter of what shots I would get, but if I could manage a damn cake at all.

the mirror is set

After my surgery, but before my chemo, I thought I’d push through the treatment like I push through everything else in life - with determination and gusto. I had high expectations and a good attitude. Things were off to a decent start as I could still run a 5K after the first infusion and remain active and upbeat. However, the four and a half months chipped away at me with complications that were unforseen, side-effects harsh enough to knock a horse on its ass, and the reality that mine was not going to be an easy peasy treatment. I learned a lot about myself and my limits this year. I had a pretty good idea to begin with, but I have a deeper understanding now. I think that is a positive. I’m accepting that there are aspects in life that I cannot bulldoze through in my usual way and sometimes we have to make due with less than ideal - but we can still be happy.

Driving up the canyon on my way home the other day, I thought to myself how wonderful it was to be alive right then and there. To see the sun glistening off the pine forests, smell the canyon air, feel that lovely breeze cooling on my face - to be able to smile. As in chemo, as in baking, as in life… many of us persevere the crap to get to the reward on the other side. I suppose for me, the journey alone is reward in and of itself.

lemon mirror cake with raspberry coulis

Lemon Mirror Cake

1 sheet or 1 round lemon chiffon cake (1/2 recipe)
lemon mousse
limoncello soaking syrup
lemon mirror

lemon mousse
2 1/2 tsp powdered gelatin
2 oz fresh lemon juice
10 oz heavy cream (medium peaks)
8 oz lemon curd, freshly made or warmed
1 oz light corn syrup
1/2 tsp lemon extract

Bloom gelatin in lemon juice then melt it to 100°F. Whip the heavy cream to medium peaks. Cover and put in refrigerator. Blend together the warm curd with the corn syrup and the lemon extract, stirring with a whisk. Add the melted gelatin to the curd. Strain and cool the mixture to 70°F. Temper 1/2 of the whipped cream into the curd mixture. Fold in remaining whipped cream. Immediately use the mousse, cover and refrigerate until set.

lemon mirror
1 1/2 cups lemonade, strained
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tbsp limoncello
1 tbsp water
1 tbsp unflavored gelatin
1 drop yellow food coloring

Place lemon juice, limoncello, and water in a small bowl. Sprinkle gelatin over this mixture; set aside until spongy and soft. Heat lemonade in a pan until it simmers and pour over gelatin mixture. Stir to dissolve gelatin. Stir in the yellow food coloring. Place bowl over ice bath and stir occasionally until the mixture is syrupy.

Assembly: Place ring mold on foil base. Cut the cake into two slices for the shape of the mold or pan you are using. Set the first slice down in the ring mold and brush with half of the soaking syrup. Pour half of the mousse on top of the cake layer. Set the second cake layer over the mousse and soak with remaining syrup. Pour the rest of the mousse on top and smooth the surface. Refrigerate until the mousse is set. Remove from refrigerator and pour mirror on top and return to the refrigerator until gelatin is set. Unmold and serve.