use real butter

I need to get to bed asap, so this is going to be big on pics and short on words…

A jam-packed, fun-filled day today! We hiked to the Continental Divide (Arapaho Pass and almost Caribou Pass) out of the Fourth of July trailhead - appropriately enough. We couldn’t cross the last snowfield to Caribou because it was too steep for Kaweah to cross safely, while Jeremy and I were perfectly fine with our ice axes. I got a lot of wildflower shots as this hike has just about the greatest variety locally, but haven’t had a chance to process any. I do want to toss up a handful of nice pics from the hike including my two favorite housemates:

the cascading streams are lovely right now

jeremy looks across the divide

coming down the trail

having a blast

Once we were home, I began prepping dinner since Marianne was coming up for dinner, fireworks, and staying the night to go on an early morning hike with us tomorrow. I served up some barbecue chicken (recipe will come), grilled asparagus, coleslaw, roasted potato salad, bread… and for dessert, we had red, white, and blue mini pavlovas.

After dinner, we headed out to the reservoir to catch the local town fireworks. It’s supposed to be a pretty decent show and plenty of folks from the flats drive up to watch. This is the first year we’ve actually been in town to see them, so we were excited! I have never shot fireworks before, and had to give it a try. Here are some of what I captured:

Fun stuff, eh? I love how different fireworks look in photos compared to what we see with our own eyes. In any case, on to the recipe - which is for the red, white, and blue mini pavlovas.

whipping egg whites for the meringue

I like mini pavlovas because they take a little less time to bake. Since it was so frakking hot today (84 in my town, which is quite toasty for us mountain folk), I was hoping to minimize the oven time.

shaped nests ready for the oven

I used Donna Hay’s recipe for the meringue shells, altered a bit for our altitude. For some reason, her meringues look perfectly white in her photos and mine always come out beige. Whatever… as long as they taste good - that is what matters.

the red and blue: strawberries and blueberries

I toss the sliced strawberries and blueberries in a little bit of sugar because I don’t add much to my whipped cream. It’s just a nice and refreshing dessert to serve on a hot day. Pretty simple to whip up and a delicious end to a meal.

call it patriotic if you like - i call it delish

Red, White, and Blue Mini Pavlovas
based on Pavlova from Donna Hay’s Modern Classics 2

mini pavlovas (12-14)
whipped cream
2 cups strawberries, sliced
2 cups bluberries

pavlova
4 egg whites
1 cup superfine sugar
3 tsps cornstarch
1 tsp white vinegar

Preheat oven to 300°F. Place egg whites in bowl of electric mixer and beat until soft peaks. Gradually add sugar, beating well until mixture is glossy. Sift the cornstarch over the egg white mixture and fold through with the vinegar. Pile large dollops of meringue evenly spaced onto a baking tray lined with parchment paper (makes about 12-14). Round the shapes and form wells in the centers to create small meringue bowls. Place in oven and cook for 1 hour (45 minutes at elevation). Remove from oven and remove to a cooling rack.

whipping cream
2 cups heavy cream
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp almond extract

Whip cream and sugar to medium peaks. Add vanilla and almond extracts and whip until incorporated.

To Serve: Top each pavlova with whipped cream and fresh fruit. Serve immediately.

a slice of lemon mirror cake: my click entry

I thought that when my chemo was over, I would resume my life more or less the way I was before chemo. I will be the first to point out that how I feel now is a million times better than how I felt during chemo - so this is a good thing. While my ideas and enthusiasm are nearly on par with what they are normally, the reality is that my carcass is still playing catch up for a variety of reasons (complications, unexpected lingering side-effects, etc.). Add to that the daily radiation treatments that cut right into the middle of the day and I find I am not getting to all of the items on my ginormous to-do list.

let’s make some lemon mousse

It’s okay. I have learned to accept these setbacks and make the best of it. The tagline on my personal blog reads “things don’t always go as planned” which is funny, because I coined that one before I was diagnosed. But it’s a good concept to keep in mind and I feel that it keeps me on my toes, keeps me from feeling “entitled” and allows me to maneuver through life with greater flexibility… greater happiness.

brushing soaking syrup onto the chiffon cake

I still have trouble in the kitchen because my left arm and left hand are experiencing problems including pain, numbness, and weakness. While I’m right-handed, any avid cook knows that you use BOTH hands when cooking or baking. But some things can’t wait and I feel happier overall when I can get into the kitchen and create something.

layering the mousse

After I had contacted Bee about contributing a prize for Bri’s fundraiser, she encouraged me to enter the CLICK photo competition for June. The theme: yellow. Ah yes, that damn cancer thing. Pink for breast cancer (I hate pink) and yellow for cancer (I don’t love yellow but I do hate cancer). It’s not that I wanted to enter the contest so much as I wanted to show my support for Bri. If you think you’re tired of hearing and reading about cancer, try having cancer… that gets old pretty fast.

pouring the mirror

What I realized while I made the cake was that it was very much like my own experience with cancer. I usually have a grand plan in my head for pastries I want to make. I think about it for as little as a few minutes to as much as a couple of weeks - planning flavors, textures, components, shape, presentation. I have *expectations* and then I play it out. I used to execute most of my baking plans with good effort and great success. But this time things were slower. Folding whipped cream into lemon curd hurt my hand. Washing dishes that I needed burned my tender skin. My strength and balance were a little off so that I bumped the mold against the wall of the fridge, spilling liquid gelatin over the top. All of that control I had commanded before… lost for now. It no longer became a matter of what shots I would get, but if I could manage a damn cake at all.

the mirror is set

After my surgery, but before my chemo, I thought I’d push through the treatment like I push through everything else in life - with determination and gusto. I had high expectations and a good attitude. Things were off to a decent start as I could still run a 5K after the first infusion and remain active and upbeat. However, the four and a half months chipped away at me with complications that were unforseen, side-effects harsh enough to knock a horse on its ass, and the reality that mine was not going to be an easy peasy treatment. I learned a lot about myself and my limits this year. I had a pretty good idea to begin with, but I have a deeper understanding now. I think that is a positive. I’m accepting that there are aspects in life that I cannot bulldoze through in my usual way and sometimes we have to make due with less than ideal - but we can still be happy.

Driving up the canyon on my way home the other day, I thought to myself how wonderful it was to be alive right then and there. To see the sun glistening off the pine forests, smell the canyon air, feel that lovely breeze cooling on my face - to be able to smile. As in chemo, as in baking, as in life… many of us persevere the crap to get to the reward on the other side. I suppose for me, the journey alone is reward in and of itself.

lemon mirror cake with raspberry coulis

Lemon Mirror Cake

1 sheet or 1 round lemon chiffon cake (1/2 recipe)
lemon mousse
limoncello soaking syrup
lemon mirror

lemon mousse
2 1/2 tsp powdered gelatin
2 oz fresh lemon juice
10 oz heavy cream (medium peaks)
8 oz lemon curd, freshly made or warmed
1 oz light corn syrup
1/2 tsp lemon extract

Bloom gelatin in lemon juice then melt it to 100°F. Whip the heavy cream to medium peaks. Cover and put in refrigerator. Blend together the warm curd with the corn syrup and the lemon extract, stirring with a whisk. Add the melted gelatin to the curd. Strain and cool the mixture to 70°F. Temper 1/2 of the whipped cream into the curd mixture. Fold in remaining whipped cream. Immediately use the mousse, cover and refrigerate until set.

lemon mirror
1 1/2 cups lemonade, strained
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tbsp limoncello
1 tbsp water
1 tbsp unflavored gelatin
1 drop yellow food coloring

Place lemon juice, limoncello, and water in a small bowl. Sprinkle gelatin over this mixture; set aside until spongy and soft. Heat lemonade in a pan until it simmers and pour over gelatin mixture. Stir to dissolve gelatin. Stir in the yellow food coloring. Place bowl over ice bath and stir occasionally until the mixture is syrupy.

Assembly: Place ring mold on foil base. Cut the cake into two slices for the shape of the mold or pan you are using. Set the first slice down in the ring mold and brush with half of the soaking syrup. Pour half of the mousse on top of the cake layer. Set the second cake layer over the mousse and soak with remaining syrup. Pour the rest of the mousse on top and smooth the surface. Refrigerate until the mousse is set. Remove from refrigerator and pour mirror on top and return to the refrigerator until gelatin is set. Unmold and serve.

Today was one of those non-stop days from the moment I woke at 5:30 am up to now. I am feeling great in large part due to my dosage of steroids (long story, but it’s to treat the side effects of a side effect from one of my chemo drugs). It’s good that I started the steroids now because I have so much to get done this week and… I’m getting most of it done!

This morning we ventured up to Lake Isabelle - a short hike under normal circumstances except the road to the trailhead is partially closed and the trail is 60% under snow still. A great time to see the lake which takes on a different personality every few weeks when the seasonal conditions change so quickly. She’s beautiful any time of year. Here are some of the favorites, but you can always hop over to the photo blog for the rest.

on the way to the lake

just over the rise

still snowy lake isabelle at 10,868 feet

bred for swimming in icy waters

I felt so strong and completely energized. In my current state of health, I know not to let these moments go to waste. It’s a frenzy of activity because we have house guests this weekend, are hosting a barbecue as well, and the timing of all of the local wildflowers and snow pack in the high country will not wait until next week for photo shoots. I’m also training for a few goals I have this summer - so everything is *now* and I am loving it.

visitor in our yard

A few weeks ago, I had an excess of raspberries and looked about one morning for a nice way to use them up. I am not a huge fan of breakfast foods, particularly the sweet kind. [Oh, but I’ll eat bacon any time, any place.] About once a year I get a hankering for pancakes and whip up a batch to remind myself why I only make them once a year. Jeremy is decidedly indifferent to pancakes.

start with eggs and buttermilk

I wandered into the kitchen and began a search for pancake recipes on the laptop. I immediately honed in on a recipe from a familiar blog: Elise’s Simply Recipes’ Blueberry Buttermilk Pancakes. I love Elise and I trust her recipes. The woman has never failed me. So instead of blueberry buttermilk pancakes, I made raspberry buttermilk pancakes.

stirring in the dry ingredients

Jeremy *loved* these pancakes. I can’t tell you how surprised I was because he was a picky eater when I met him over 15 years ago. While he has accepted and embraced several foods in that time, he has rarely turned 180 on a food like this before. Good on ya, Elise.

fold in the pretty raspberries

My batter wound up a little thick and the pancakes were puffy and taller than most pancakes. It could be an elevation issue. Admittedly, I’ve never been a pancake expert.

frying in the pan

The second time around (yeah, I started getting requests for this on weekends) I added more milk and reduced the leavenings. Less puffy, more spread - but they still tasted the same. And when I say they tasted the same, I mean they still tasted fan-freaking-tastic.

top with fresh berries and your choice of sugar delivery

Raspberry Buttermilk Pancakes
modified from Blueberry Buttermilk Pancakes at Simply Recipes

2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder [1/4 tsp at 8500 feet]
1/2 tsp baking soda [1/4 tsp at 8500 feet]
2 eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 cup milk [1 1/3 cup at 8500]
3 tbsp butter, melted
1 cup raspberries

Combine flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda in a bowl and mix well. Mix eggs, buttermilk, and milk in another bowl. Combine the wet and dry mixes until just lumpy. Pour in butter and stir well. Fold in raspberries. Heat a little oil or butter in a frying pan over medium-high heat. Pour a scoop of batter onto the pan when the oil is hot. Spread to desired size (I like mine smallish - around 4 inches in diameter, but do what you want). When bubbles appear on the top of the pancake, flip to cook the other side (this takes Elise about 2-3 minutes, but took me upwards of 4 minutes). Remove the pancake from the pan when the bottom is golden. Serve hot or let the pancakes cool and refrigerate them to be toasted later.